World Domination and ABC's
by Klimmatt
Summary: Two highly trained and superhumanly skilled teens are de-aged to the developmental stage where their sense of morality has yet to even form, whilst remaining in command of their very impressive abilities. Honestly, who thought that that would end well?


It happened during a team-up, specifically a Flash/Green Arrow team-up.

Abra Kadabra had started a crime spree in Central that had spread to Star City, followed closely by a certain pair of speedsters, much to the Emerald Archers' annoyance.

Now Ollie didn't have anything against Barry or his nephew, but Artemis held a particular loathing for Kid Flash, and her attitude towards having to work with the red head outside of Team duties put Ollie in a bad enough mood that he actually missed Roy's hat-throwing tantrums.

Still, all four vigilantes were professionals (or, half of them were at any rate) and were able to put their petty squabbles aside to deal with the threat at hand. Sort of.

Artemis and Kid Flash bickered all the while as the older heroes tracked Karabra down to his lair. Once there the sidekicks proving to be somewhat superfluous as Ollie and Barry worked with a synchrony that only League training seemed to instill, leaving Wally and Artemis to deal with the variety of traps Kadabra had laid out whilst their mentors dealt with the man himself.

Had Green Arrow been surveying the room as a whole rather than focusing on Kadabra, he might have noticed Klarion the Witch Boy's arrival. Had the Flash been paying attention to his sidekick, he would have seen his nephew dash to Artemis's side as Klarion launched a beam of unknown energy towards her.

But neither saw as Wally's attempt to push the archer out of the way only resulted in the both of them getting hit. They only heard the aftermath. A pair of screaming toddlers in bundles of clothes far too large for their tiny frames.

Klarion was gone in the next instant, though his insane cackling at his 'joke' remained. Kadabra found himself with three broken ribs and a concussion once the Flash and Green Arrow noted what had happened to their sidekicks and had stopped playing nice.

"So," Ollie muttered moments later, as he and Barry stood over their respective sidekicks, both of whom looked to be around six years old and, thankfully, asleep, "Do you wanna tell Paula or Iris first?"

Barry turned to his colleague, an expression of horror etched into his features, "That's like asking me how I want to die!"

* * *

"Oh, Great Mars," M'gann said softly, "They're so... _cute!_"

Within moments Ollie and Barry had dumped their loads into the Martian's arms, forcing her to grow a second pair to do so, as they rushed out, "Greatsoyou'llwatchthemwhilewegofindacurebye!"

The Zeta-tubes announced the elder heroes' departure before the Team could even register what had just been spoken. Kaldur, Robin and Conner standing dumbstruck as M'gann and Zatanna cooed over the sleeping forms of the six year old Wally and Artemis.

"This'll be interesting."

* * *

Wally was the first to wake and had calmly taken in the fact that he was surrounded by unknown teenagers. Artemis had woken just seconds later and had promptly screeched her head off when she didn't recognize anyone as her mother, father, or sister.

"Daddy's gonna kill you if you don't take me back!" She told them, "Or Daddy'll let me do it!"

M'gann and Zatanna were instantly horrorstruck at the outburst. Conner was confused. Robin and Kaldur were unsurprised. Wally smiled at the angry girl next to him.

"I like you," he stated, "You're a spitfire."

Artemis paused in her rants/death threats/screaming fit to stare at the unfazed boy beside her.

"What's a spitfire?" She asked.

"I don't know," Wally shrugged, "My Grampa Jay's friend Mr. Nelson says that his wife's one though."

"Oh," Artemis still looked confused, but mildly less murderous.

"You wanna cookie?" Wally suddenly asked, his form blurring, to the Team's surprise, and he returned with a plate of the chocolatey treats that he'd found lying on the kitchen counter.

Artemis took one, happily munching on it as the teens stood around in shock.

"I like you," she said simply around the crumbs of her cookie. Wally beamed in response.

M'gann melted. "They're so _cute!_"

Both Wally and Artemis paused, turning to look at the crazy green-skinned girl. They each decided independently that they did not like the look in her eyes.

* * *

"This blows," Artemis muttered grumpily, arms crossed tightly over her chest.

"You got that right," Wally commiserated.

After getting over their initial shock, M'gann and Zatanna had gone right back to cooing over how adorable the pair were, immediately making plans to take the 'children' out clothes shopping so that they wouldn't have to continue walking around in the oversize shirts that their respective mentors had given them.

It was then that Robin, hoping to save himself a trip to the mall with squalling infants and suddenly maternal females, pointed out that Zatanna could always just make some outfits appear.

10 minutes later, Wally and Artemis were dressed in a childish suit and a very pouffy pink dress respectively, and both were considering severing the witch's vocal cords to prevent any further wardrobe modeling, even as the witch and the Martian were engrossed by a child's clothing catalogue in search of the perfect outfit.

"We should kill them," Artemis muttered, "All I need is something sharp."

"Or..." Wally grinned devilishly.

M'gann and Zatanna, who really should have been watching the pair, looked up half a moment later at the sound of rushing wind.

Wally had sped off with Artemis.

"It's alright," M'gann assured herself, "They can't get far."

**_"Recognized: Kid Flash, B03."_**

**_"Recognized: Artemis, B07."_**

"...you were saying?" Zatanna asked sarcastically.

* * *

"So," Wally asked, sitting lightly on the Central City Park swing set, "What do you wanna do now?"

Artemis, sitting on the swing next to him looked down at the very pouffy dress she was still wearing. "I wanna change."

"Okay," Wally shrugged, "Into what?"

Artemis surveyed the children of the playground, finding a girl who looked to be around her size who was dressed in what looked to be very comfortable jeans and a T-shirt.

"That," she pointed to the outfit in question.

Wally nodded, before blurring into action. Artemis felt nothing more than a gust of wind before she was suddenly dressed in the outfit she had picked out, the other girl wearing what used to be her dress, much to her and her mother's shock. Wally, on the other hand, had ditched his suit's blazer and bow tie, as well as switching out the dress shoes for a pair of sneakers.

"Now what?" He asked, not noticing the fact that many parents and children had just seen his casual display of meta-human ability and were currently backing away fearfully.

Artemis was not as ignorant to this effect and grinned in a very sharklike manner.

"Do you wanna take over the city?"

Wally blinked, "Why?"

Artemis shrugged, "My Daddy always says that I'm s'posed to grow up to help him steal things. Imagine how happy he'd be when I steals him a whole city!"

Wally tilted his head, unsure.

"Plus, if you help me, I'll let you keep half the candy stores," Artemis decided solemnly.

"What about the cookie stores?" Wally asked, suddenly very much interested. "And the toy stores?"

"I get first dibs on the toys," Artemis stated after a moment of thought, "You get first dibs on the cookies."

Wally gave the proposition serious thought, oblivious to the trio of policemen and a social worker making their way through the emptied park.

"Who gets the Science Museum?"

Artemis shrugged, "You can have that."

"And the Flash Museum?"

Artemis nodded.

Decision made, Wally nodded his head, promptly spitting into his right hand and holding it out to seal the deal. Artemis grinned and did the same.

With that, Wally grabbed her and sped off excitedly to parts unknown. They had _plotting_ to do.

* * *

When a pair of six year olds wearing balaclavas appeared in the Mayor's office in City Hall, he and his secretary found it adorable. Then the girl with the long blond ponytail pulled out a crossbow and embedded an arrow into the drywall just inches away from the Mayor's head. That was less adorable. Still adorable you understand, but the potential for a bloody and painful death made it less so.

Security arrived not long after. The girl gave a signal to the boy. In the next moment the guards' weapons were piled in the corner and the men were tied up with electrical tape.

The boy was laughing at the sight.

"We're in charge now," the girl growled, drawing another arrow, this one aimed at the Mayor's heart.

The Mayor, though assured of the children's legitimate threat level, was still hardly going to hand over the city to a pair of six year olds.

Artemis smirked when he told him that. Turning to her partner, she asked, "A demonstration, please?"

Wally grinned, disappearing in a blur of motion. Seconds later he returned, just beating the sound of an explosion a couple of blocks away.

The Mayor rushed to the window, seeing the rising smoke and a demolished building, turning back, aghast, at the little monsters.

"I just blew up a salon," the boy cheerily told him, "It was fun. Fun with chemistry."

"Why a salon?" The girl asked, curiously.

"They're evil," he stated strongly, crossing his arms, "Mum always says that it'll be fun, but it's always boring and all the stupid old ladies keep pinching my cheeks. And they always think it's fun to paint my nails!"

Artemis nodded understandingly. That did sound evil.

"What should I blow up next?"

"Wait!"

* * *

Within an hour it was official to the six year olds, Central City was theirs'. They even had crowns (stolen from a toyshop by Wally) and the Key to the City to prove it. They were thinking of renaming it and were torn between 'Artemisland' and 'Awesomeville'.

It really is a pity that the citizens of the newly conquered city weren't quite as accepting to their rule. Hundreds of calls to the Justice League's emergency hotline were made before the paperwork was even started.

Many League members believed the alerts to be little more than a joke, but a few still took the time to answer the call.

Hal Jordan, Green Lantern of Earth, was the first on the scene. He landed in the midst of Central City, making his way swiftly to City Hall.

He burst through the doors to the Mayor's office, only to turn sharply when he heard his name, called by a child's voice.

"Hi, Uncle Hal!"

Hal blinked at the sight of his friend's nephew, if the clock had turned back about ten years or so, his hands encased in a pair of bright yellow gloves.

"Wally?"

Hal twitched suddenly at the brush of wind against his fingers. He glanced down in shock to discover that his ring was missing, turning back in time to see the child sized Wally present it to his blonde partner as a gift.

The Green Lantern of Earth then found himself hogtied by the pint-sized speedster, as the girl tried, and fortunately failed, to operate the Lantern's Ring.

"Told ya you couldn't just take it," Wally crowed, "You need to be _given_ the ring, from the Guardians of _Oa_."

"Shut up," Artemis grumbled, making no motion to remove the ring.

"Anyway, we need to get ready," Wally smiled, "Uncle Hal's only the first to try to end our rule of the great nation of Awesomeville!"

"Artemisland."

"Whatever," he dismissed airily.

"Yeah, yeah," Artemis muttered, "How do you plan to stop Superman again?"

Wally paused, musing thoughtfully, "I'm gonna need a phonebook."

* * *

"Gramma Martha!" Wally whined into the mouthpiece, the split-second after Superman had crashed into the office, destroying a wall and coming to the sight of a hogtied and gagged Hal Jordan and a pair of unusually devious six-year-olds (not that all six-year-olds aren't devious, of course, but these ones were _unusually_ devious). "Uncle Clark's being mean to Conner!"

Superman froze, stopping dead in his airborne tracks as Wally paused to hear the Kryptonian's adoptive mother question who exactly 'Conner' was.

"Superboy," Wally explained, a wicked grin forming as he met the alien's eye, "He's Superman's baby. We found him in a pod in an underground science lab and he's really nice, but Uncle Clark's being all mean to him and totally ignoring him!"

The young speedster's grin widened further on his cherubic face as he calmly removed the telephone from his ear, holding it out to Superman.

"It's for you," he said sweetly.

In his shock, Superman gingerly took the phone between his thumb and forefinger, as though it might explode at any moment, moving it reluctantly closer to his own ear.

Both Artemis and Wally could easily hear Martha's yelling.

Superman spent about thirty-three seconds trying and failing to explain the situation before simply giving in to his mother's demands to be in Smallville before the minute was up.

"When I get back the two of you are in for such a spanking," he cursed, leveling a glare that could literally have killed them if he'd had a mind to, before flying off in a huff and a blur.

"And _that's_ why you don't mess with old people," Wally pronounced proudly as Artemis looked out in awe.

* * *

Eventually, of course, the spell wore off and Artemis and Wally were returned to their original ages, at which point, in order to avoid the punishments that were surely coming their way, they elected to retain their control over Central City, eventually declaring it a sovereign nation and pronouncing themselves the undisputed dictators of the land, garnering themselves diplomatic immunity when on American soil in the hopes that it would protect them from their parents and Batman.

It didn't, though Sportsmaster could honestly say that he'd never been prouder of his daughter in his life, and Cheshire _almost_ approved of her sister's boyfriend.


End file.
